As we’ve learned to travel the difficult and unpredictable journey of grief, we’ve come to know the importance of community and the importance of physical objects in building memory. Both of these factors have played invaluable roles in our healing and in building our relationship with our daughter. A relationship that looks very different than the one we expected to have with her.

Not able to parent our child in the physical sense, we’ve found ourselves clinging to physical manifestations of our daughter in different forms. The teddy bear, named Spencer, gifted to us by the hospital where she was born, so that we would not have to go home with empty arms.The memorial box containing plaster casts of her hands and feet, a scrapbook collage of her birth details, and the knit blanket that we held her in–all prepared by the nurses who cared for us. The crystal sun catchers that now hang in our windows, projecting rainbows on our walls and ceilings, reminding us that Helen is always nearby. These types of physical objects have brought us so much comfort as we look for daily reminders of our daughter’s presence.

We have also relied heavily on the support provided by the perinatal and infant loss bereavement services offered through the Roger Neilson House in Ottawa. They have provided one-on-one grief counselling with a specialized social worker (a woman we have come to call our saviour), memorial events, and a peer support group that connected us with a small group of other parents who were grieving a similar loss. Not only was the programming instrumental in our grief journey, but the space in which it was provided played a key role.

During the weekly meetings of our peer support group we sat in a room that felt like a close friend’s living room rather than a hospital treatment room. Comfortable couches, warm rugs, and a beautiful stone fireplace with a mantle that displayed framed photos of each of our angel babies. This space contributed to the feeling of comfort and community that allowed us to share, cry, and laugh together.

It’s this combination of physical space, physical objects, and community belonging that’s inspired us to build Helen’s Place, in order to provide bereaved parents in the Greater Toronto Area with support, community, and memorial artifacts as they navigate their own journeys as newly bereaved parents.